Tuesday 17 February 2015

Drunken Judo

I was quite drunk one night. I had finished my magical amount of beer; 4 litres. I don't know how or why but when I drink that amount of beer I seem to gain anywhere between a 5% and 600% increase in Judo ability the next day. Having finished my pre training preparation, I walked downstairs. I had half implied a promise before to the people drinking in the common room. I said I might continue the night with them, so I went down with the intention of saying goodnight. A friend of mine had a bottle of whiskey open. He had just broken up with his girlfriend of several years. I decided to aid him in his lamentations, so I commiserated with him and my ongoing contribution to his depleting whiskey supply. We ended and I went to bed at maybe 9am.

I woke up at maybe 1pm. I had intended the night before to go to training at 5.30, and wasn't really sure if it was such a good idea to go anymore. I had drank a lot more than was probably going to be helpful. My mind was a skid mark on a public toilet. But I had committed to entering this mental state; and I decided to try and use it if it were possible. I wanted the benefits of this mindset and was willing to suffer the repercussions if necessary. My body was mash potato, my mind was smog. I had spent hours in training trying to imitate how I move when in this state, I have struggled to apply it in Randoori. This training; I would not be imitating.

I stumbled onto the mat, and went through the training. It was probably the best Judo I had ever done in my life. It was a 600% day. It was also in a way very saddening. I couldn't conceive of a way that I could ever exceed that experience, I had come so far in such a short amount of time, and yet my time had run out. I had one more week left at Tokai to train. I knew it would be almost impossible to top that experience, and with only a week left to replicate it I decided I would call it my final training. I ended it there; on a high. So I left Tokai Judo as I entered it; unannounced and unprepared for the future.

I took it easy for the last week I had in Japan. I made a few embarrassed nods to the other Judoka as I passed them around university, but other than that I didn't see any evidence of Judo, or why I had come to that university. I played a lot of beer pong with my friends. Spent a lot of time buying mementos. I received my language certificate and flew home.

I went to training in my home club on the first night I arrived back. It was really weird to see everyone again. I also had some returning culture shock to work through. It was so strange to see people joking and laughing with one another during training. I realized that amongst the experiences I had brought back home from Japan, Stockholm syndrome was likely one of them. The class was divided amongst different skills, and each group were given various exercises to work through. For 5 months, all I had done was Randoori; with the occasional Uchi Komi interspersed in. I found it strange to adjust back into training with an objective different to dumping your opponent on the ground.

I got a throw on one of my training partners; but for the most part I couldn't feel my approach at all. My corpse whip felt blocky and rigid, my balance felt unstable. All of that weeks training; I felt like my Judo had left me. It was like those aliens in the children's movie 'Space Jam' had robbed me of my skill. The flow, the feeling of my balance leaving my feet, entering my hips, and flowing through my back and arms, into my hands and then into my opponent; that had completely gone. I was dejected; but I expected it. I don't know what the correlation for me is between alcohol, Judo technique, and progression in skill; but there definitely is one.

I used to train for about 3 months in Glasgow Uni, and felt a rapid increase in my ability. Once, in a different Scottish class; a heavyweight Dan grade player and I bowed each other on for Randoori, and without thinking or otherwise planning it I threw him fluidly in Yoko Wakare; but with the upper body set up of an Ippon Seoi Nage. I landed on top of him; I was just as surprised as he was. I had to do a slower and more formalized version of it some years later in Australia for my brown belt. I struggled to display the minimum requirements of that technique. It shouldn't be possible for me to throw someone using a technique that I fail to be capable of replicating later against a willing Uke. But it is true, I did it. Another convenient fact to note (correlation does not imply causation , but it does waggle its eyebrows furtively, to quote Randall Munroe http://xkcd.com/552/) is that near this club in Scotland, there was a bottle store that sold 6 pints of Guinness for 6 pounds; a deal I often took advantage of after training.

So I returned home, for the second time that I had done some Judo training overseas; and once again I felt that I had forgotten everything I had learned. This was one of the major motivations for me to write this blog; so I could use it as a black box to identify what exactly went wrong should my Judo crash into the ground again after my return. Predictably; it did, and so now I am picking through the smouldering remains. I tried standing on a yoga ball again; I had lost a lot of my fluidity in a short amount of time. I need to buy one for myself and practice it daily if I want to be able to move how I was once capable. Even if I can't, the mere act of trying will help me. I need goals, no matter how implausible or impractical, to gain any meaning in my life.

I lack the language or the skill to be able to express this in my own words; so I have re-appropriated anothers to do it. I apologize for my blatant plagiarism and yet I feel no guilt. I don't think I could write up what I want to say better than what has already been written before. My only qualm is taking these words and bastardizing them into something worse than how they were originally used.

I looked and looked at it; this "Drunken Judo", and knew as clearly as I know I am going to die, that I loved it more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth, or hoped for anywhere else. Thank god it was not that echo alone that I worshiped. You may jeer at me, and threaten to clear the court, but until I am gagged and half throttled, I will shout my poor truth. I insist the world know how much I loved my "Drunken Judo", this pale and polluted "Drunken Judo", but still mine.

.........

I waddled in for my last training. My body felt like you could pick it up in one hand and push it through a crack in the wall like play dough. We went through the warm up; and then the Randoori started. Islam Bozbayev caught my eye; so I went with him for one of the first rounds. He had an explosively fast Tai Otoshi. I had the flow of a drunk. I got the first throw on him in Sumi Gaeshi. I corpse whipped him a few times but he was fast and nimble, and didn't try to Jigotai off it. He rolled with the momentum of it fluidly and dumped me with precision and skill. He got the overhand grip on me and shot in for O Soto Gari. I wobbled with his force and with gravity; and used both to arrive at his hips. I picked him up and countered him in Ura Nage. It felt like it took an eternity. It was at least long enough for us to look at each others faces and acknowledge what it was that was happening. He would have thrown me at least 7 times in Tai Otoshi after that. He told me I moved like a snake.

I stood off to the side waiting for another opponent. Islam Bozbayev was drilling Uchi Komi with one of the Japanese players. He was diving into his opponent with an outstretched right hand; then pulling him back in a scorpion-from-Mortal-Kombat-kind-of-way, for his Tai Otoshi. He was drilling my technique. It was totally surreal. He had seen me use it maybe 10 or so times and nearly perfectly understood it from that alone. And then from there he had adapted it into an opening for his Tai Otoshi. I had never thought of using it in this way.

He had it nearly perfect; apart from the looseness. He was diving into Uke with force and power. I had tried that approach but found that I usually got countered when I did; because my opponent could feel and manipulate my balance in that movement. Alternately; if I shut my body completely down; then I could roll off my opponents force. I like to think of it as being the difference between trying to drive a nail into wood or into a plush toy. The plush toy will offer more resistance to being punctured by the nail, even though the wood is harder. "Even though" are the wrong words, "because" is better; yielding to the force can dampen it better than facing it directly and rigidly. I tried to explain this to him, the language barrier was difficult to overcome. He smelt my breath and asked "Drink?" I nodded.

I had a few more rounds with other players, Kazakhstani and Japanese. I went against one  Kazakhstani player, who was maybe in the 80kgs range; and threw him in Sumi Gaeshi without using my left hand. I had experimented with abandoning my grip on Japanese players when their grip breaking techniques were too strong to get through. This was the first real evidence I had that the concept was worth exploring. I unbalanced him with my outstretched right hand; which gripped his right sleeve. I used my right shoulder to push his torso backward; and in that movement I lifted my right foot into the back of his left knee. I hopped into him like this until he unbalanced and fell. I was capable of it only because I was taller than him and had advantages of reach. Still, it was incredibly rewarding to see some results from trying to do Judo without gripping in a conventional way.

I went against a Japanese player, maybe in the 80kg's. He smashed me; I didnt get anything on him at all. It was rather strange. It was approaches like his and physiques like his I had designed my Judo around. He was short, stocky, neckless, a walking Seoi Nage. I had tried to come up with a version of Judo that denied him the ability to rely on his low balance as an advantage. But on that day; when I expected to be at my best; I couldn't get near him.

The second last training I went to; I walked up to him and asked in clumsy Japanese something to the effect of " Would you like to do Randoori?" He kinda smirked, looked at his friends standing either side of him; and responded with "I would like". I made a mental note not to ask for Randoori like that again. I threw him at least 4 times, he did not throw me at all. I got conclusive proof that something I came up with that I named "the wrecking ball Ko Uchi Gari" works. During that round I threw him again by breaking his balance without first taking a grip on him. But the next training that I tried, armed with a hangover; I couldn't throw him at all. Alcohol helps me; but I don't yet understand how or why. A judo player should not be better at Judo after drinking; but for some reason I am. And a judo players difference between their "good days" and their "bad days" should not be so distant from one another as to mean the difference between completely dominating and being incapable of throwing at all; but it happens to me frequently. Its an incredibly unreliable performance enhancing drug.

In the last 30 minutes or so of my last training; I went for Newaza Randoori with Islam Bozbayev. It took about 4 minutes before he submitted me with Ude Hishigi Juji Gatame. I tried a variant of Gyaku Juji Jime on him; but gave up when I felt that I didn't have the grip loaded properly. In that moment when I relinquished my grip on his collar he exploded backward with my outstretched arm and submitted me. That round was completely grueling; I had 10 or so Kg's on him and used my advantages in reach and rotation; he was very skilled. There was one point when we disentangled ourselves from each other and and faced one another; ready to reengage. He smiled; there was blood running down his gums. I had tried to get him in a prior strangle which must have put pressure on his mouth. It was a weird experience; seeing someone that was happy despite, or maybe because of an injury. I have felt childishly proud of prior injuries and bragged about them to anyone who would listen in the dormitory. I considered it evidence that I wanted to learn. I realized we were of the same group. I tell you; Judoka are crazy sadomasochists, and more generally masochists. I told him it was the best round of Newaza I had done in Japan.

I had a Newaza round against another one of the Kazakhstani players. He looked to be in the 100kg range. We played paper-scissors-rock; I won. I asked him nervously what that meant, did I win the right to start as Tori to his turtle position; or was I Uke? He smirked; I turtled. He went for some kind of strangle; but left his left arm dangling around my chin. So I turned him over and submitted him in Osaekomi in 6 seconds or so. Then the training ended and we needed to warm up; so there was no more time for Newaza. He asked me my name and my age and told me his. He said to me "You. Strong".

The training ended; and so I went downstairs with the yoga ball to do my balance exercises. The Kazakhstani coach came up to me and watched me do my thing. Islam Bozbayev wanted to try standing on it; he was surprisingly good at it. It took me months to achieve what he managed to pull off in a few seconds. Another guy from the Kazakhstan team prodded it with his foot as I was standing; so I let his force flow through me and out of my head. I asked him to do it again; he either didn't understand me or didn't want to. Its weird that I went from being able to catch a tennis ball behind my head while bending backward at a 45 degree angle, to barely being able to catch a ball normally back in Australia; in the space of 2 weeks. Something happened. I don't know what.

.......

I have used some of my own techniques and been successful by doing so; but it will be a long time before I will get competent enough to be able to use them at will. I have tried using normal Judo as I was taught it and all it has brought me is frustration and failure. I tried my own approach and it got me compliments from national athletes. The problem is; I don't have control over my own idea. It needs a destructive amount of alcohol as a prerequisite before I can move properly. I don't just want to use it, I want to understand it and master it. I think if I can do so I could be the best Judoka in my state. The difficulty will be in exploring why it worked; why it failed; and replicating its successes without alcohol. I love it because I have felt it; I have used it; I have flowed with it, I consider it a work of art. I want to qualify that statement; before you may quote me out of context. I never said it was "good" art, but I would like to see if I could make it so. It is more than a way to throw your opponent. If I can use it to beat other players than that is a bonus I will of course accept. I believe that I can; but even if I am wrong that does not worry me all that much. I want to learn this "Drunken Judo". I will accept any successes or hardships that it might bring me.

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